This Just In: Engineers are Geeks (Part I)

Filed in MiscellaneousTags: College, Humor/Satire

Apparently ConservativeDialysis just discovered the Rube Goldberg contest:

I can only imagine what would have happened if they had asked the students to change a lightbulb.

In honor of this discovery, I offer the following Engineering tomfoolery:

Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.

Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file, and that's what they did last year.

Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.

You might be an engineer if:

  • Choosing between buying flowers for your wife and upgrading your RAM is a problem.
  • You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
  • In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
  • The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.
  • At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
  • For your wife's birthday you gave her a new CD-ROM drive or a Palm Pilot.
  • You can quote scenes from any Monte Python movie.
  • You can type 70 words per minute but you can't read your own handwriting.
  • You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
  • You sit backwards on Disney rides so you can see how they do the special effects.
  • You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
  • You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
  • You know what "http://" stands for.
  • You look forward to Christmas so you can put together the kids toys.
  • You see a good design, and have to change it.
  • You have spent more on a calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
  • You still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
  • You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
  • You window shop at Radio Shack.
  • Your laptop computer cost more than your car.
  • Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
  • You've already calculated how much you make per second.
  • You've tried to repair a $5 radio.

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